[ open post ]

[2804]

Comments

[2804]

Okay.

I don't really
I mean, I know what you do, of course. I've seen you do it. But do you see him at all?

Is that something you can do?

[beatsfor]

Sometimes. Not as much as I would like to.
Does that make it better or worse?

[2804]

It's okay. I'm glad you do.
I just didn't want him to be scared.

[beatsfor]

I have never put more care into making sure it was not a frightening experience. In all of eternity.

[2804]

I believe you, Rio. I do, I promise.

Did he talk to you at all when it happened? Did he ask anything?

[beatsfor]

He asked if you would be okay. If he would be able to visit you.

[2804]

What did you tell him?

[beatsfor]

I told him that I would do my personal best to make sure you were okay, and that he would see you again eventually, and in the meantime that whenever I did happen to get to see him during a drop off, I would catch him up.

[2804]

Okay, that's good. Thank you. I mean that. Thank you.

Please tell him I love him when you next see him. Please.

[beatsfor]

I tell him that every time.

[2804]

Okay. Okay, that's good.

Thank you. Thank you for taking care of him.

[beatsfor]

I would never do anything else.

I'm glad we could finally talk about him.

[2804]

I don't know if I'll want to do it often because it hurts. Just knowing that he's gone. It hurts.

But I'm glad we could too.

[beatsfor]

That's okay. I understand.

[2804]

Are you all right?

[beatsfor]

I'm relieved.

[2804]

To be able to talk about him without me

Without me being me?

[beatsfor]

To be able to tell you what he said. To not have to lie to him a second time about whether I have been able to check on you.

[2804]

( which basically boils down to her being her. she sighs and closes her eyes. )

You must have been lying for me for years.

( since she hadn't exactly made it easy to find her for awhile. )

[beatsfor]

For both of us.

[2804]

I'm sorry, Rio.

I am.

[beatsfor]

So am I, my love.

[2804]

You haven't done anything.

[beatsfor]

That's not what you thought for a long, long time.

[2804]

Exactly.

It's what I thought. It doesn't mean it was true.